Trasea's House

He crawled to his arms and re-attached them. He stood up and pointed to his heart with his hands. "GO AHEAD! KILL ME! I'M RIGHT HERE! DO IT! KILL ME!" He yelled.

"I'd shut up unless you want to lose your legs and possibly your head." she hissed, "You know I'd never kill you."

"DO IT! KILL ME! DO WHAT YOU ARE MEANT TO DO! KILL! KILL ME!" He yelled.

She was still crying and she couldn't take it anymore.
She dropped to her knees and sobbed, "WHY? WHY DO YOU WANT TO HURT ME!? THE ONLY THING IN THIS WORLD THAT COULD HURT ME IS TO LOSE YOU OR THE KIDS! WHY MUST YOU HURT ME THIS WAY!?"

Trace froze. He also dropped to his knees and sobbed loudly. "I don't want to hurt you. I just want to die." He said quietly.

"I can't live without you." she whispered, "I need you. I love you."

"I can't live without you, but I find it hard to live at all these days. There's no point."

She cried, "You want to die? Fine. But I'm not going to kill you." she said quietly, "You want to kill me and the kids? Fine. We'll find a way to get by without you, I guess. I'll go catatonic and eventually end up killing myself, too. But," she shrugged, "whatever. I guess that doesn't matter to you."

He wrote a letter for Staysea that said:
Dear Staysea, my love,
Know how much I love you, always and forever. I will always cherish the memories you have gave me. Always remember that when you're sad. Think of how much I love you and how much the kids love you. Don't hurt yourself, for me, for them. Please promise me that.
I will always be with you,
Travis (Trace)
And a letter for Ben that said:
Dear Benny,
I bet your watching Lion King right now. I will always remember you and me watching that together. Have fun with your beanbag. I left you something special in your room at my house. (a picture of them together) Please tell mommy how much you and I love her everyday and don't forget to. She needs you right now more than ever ok? I love you sooooooooo sooooooooo much and I want you to always remember that.
Rawr (Love),
Daddy.
And under that was a poem for Shadow and Emilee. And under everything was a photo of him, Staysea, Ben, Shadow and Emilee and his vest, folded neatly.

Staysea cried as she read the note.
She sobbed because she could hear him saying the words.
She missed his voice. Her heart broke all over again as she realized she would never hear his voice again. No more 'I love you's. No more 'I miss you's.
Another wave of hysteria hit as she realized she'd never be able to hug him and he wouldn't be there to hold her.
He wouldn't be there to kiss her or make her laugh.
The only man she'd ever loved was gone.
Forever.
She fell to her knees and cried, "Trace" she whimpered.
She clutched his vest and buried her face in it.
She hugged it as she cried herself to sleep.
Tears ran down her face, even in sleep. "Trace." she whimpered in her sleep, "Come back to me." she whispered, "I need you." she whimpered.

Trace snuck into his old room and kissed her head softly. "Whenever you need those things, I'll give you them." He whispered and stroked her cheek. He tiptoed away and stood in the doorway watching her.

Trace cried silently and carefully layed next to Staysea on the bed. He sang softly to her sleeping body:

A thousand times I've seen you standing
Gravity like lunar landing
You make me wanna run till I find you
I shut the world away from here
I drift to you, you're all I hear
As everything we know fades to black

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But,love remains the same

I find a place where we escape
Take you with me for the space
The city buzz sounds just like a fridge
I walk the streets through seven bars
I have to find just where you are
The faces seem to blur
They're all the same

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same

So much more to say
So much to be done
Don't you trick me out
We shall overcome
It's all left still to play

We - we could have had the sun
Could have been inside
Instead we're over here

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
Everything will change

I, oh I,
I wish this could last forever
I, oh I,
as if this could last forever

Love remains the same
Love remains the same

He sobbed quietly and got up from the bed and went to sit on her windowsill.

Staysea stirred and woke up, hoping that it was all just a dream.

"It wasn't a dream." Trace said quietly from the corner. "I have proof if you want it." He said looking down at his scarred arms.

"Trace?" she whimpered, blinking away her tears.
She looked toward where she heard his voice.
"Trace!" she exclaimed, getting up and hugging him, crying tears of joy.

(Im really sorry I gave him the fire idea )

"I'm not here to say I'm sorry and pretend everything's ok. Cause it's not." He said and backed away.

"I know." she said slowly, "I'm just so happy you're here!" she murmured as relief washed through her.

"Staysea. I can't do this right now." He said and started walking towards the door.

Staysea's lower lip trembled as tears threatened to escape. She'd been so devastated that he was gone and he comes and acts like this?
"Trace, wait." she said, "Let's just talk this through." she compromised, her voice cracking from her tears.

He struggled to hold back tears as he heard her saddened tone. "You know I can't do that Staysea." He said quietly.

"Please." she whispered.

He shook his head. "I wish I could."

She took an unneeded deep breath and nodded slowly, not wanting to ask questions and be annoying.

"You're not being annoying." He said.

(he was supposed to be dead, right?)

Staysea was confused and since she wasn't being annoying, she decided to ask questions, "Why can't you?" she asked quietly.